


Time Changes Everything

by kittys_devil



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/pseuds/kittys_devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Adam left his home town he never planned on going back and he definitely didn't plan on facing the mess he left behind. That all changes when a wedding invitation shows up at his home, his mom won't take no for an answer, and he runs into Tommy, the one person he'd hoped to avoid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Changes Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for glam_reverse_bb for the amazing art that moodwriter created. Check out all of her art [ here](http://moodwriter.dreamwidth.org/20725.html). Thank you to casey270 and tommyglitter for your awesome beta work! All the remaining mistakes are mine.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

“You don’t have to do this, Adam,” Leila said softly. “The town’s big enough…”

“No, it’s not. You know that. Even if I don’t run into Tommy, he’s everywhere I go. We have so much of our lives tied up in this town. I can’t get away from the memories if I stay here.” Adam paused, pulled his shoulders straighter and put on a smile for his mom. “This isn’t about him, anyway. I was planning on going to California, eventually. This just gives me the push I need to leave.”

“I know. I just don’t want to think you’re running away.”

“I’m not running, mom, just discovering what the world has for me.”

“You’ll come back to visit, right?” 

“Of course, mom,” Adam replied, hugging her tight. 

Adam didn’t have the heart to tell his mom the truth. It had been a week since Tommy’s grandmother had come into Adam’s work, offered to take him to lunch and given him the check that he now had folded up in his wallet.  
 _  
Hush money_ , his mind supplied. 

As soon as she started acting friendly Adam knew something was up, he just never expected her to pay him to leave. Adam had been furious with her demands until she gave him the ultimatum. If he didn’t leave, Tommy lost his inheritance. It wasn’t that Tommy was some spoiled rich kid. Getting his inheritance next year meant that he would be able to quit the shit job that sucked the life out of his soul and put all his focus into playing guitar. Adam wouldn’t take that away from him. 

Adam felt sick as he replayed the conversation he’d had with Tommy’s grandmother in his head. The look on her face, the pure delight she got from signing her name on the check that would take care of the ‘problem’ that her grandson had. Adam loved Tommy, would do anything for him, but he’d never expected the anything to be this. He hated that woman for doing this, and hated himself more for accepting. It was all for Tommy’s happiness. Adam had to keep reminding himself of that. 

The drive from his parent’s house back to the apartment he shared with Tommy was only a few minutes, but by the time he was unlocking the door, he felt like his heart really was breaking apart. Tommy was still at work, wouldn’t be home for a few hours. Just enough time for Adam to get the things he really wanted and leave. He let the tears fall as he threw clothes in bags and hauled them down to his car. Looking around the apartment, he realized so many of the things there weren’t Tommy’s or his. They were _theirs_. When he had all that would fit into his car, he pulled the envelope out of his pocket. It had the letter he’d written last night telling Tommy he wasn’t coming back and asking him not to come looking for him. 

“Bye, my love,” Adam whispered as he locked the apartment door without looking back.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

When Adam was sixteen, he’d promised his best friend Amy that he’d be at her wedding. He didn’t have to think about it. They were best friends; he was going to be there. When Adam made the promise, he would’ve done anything to stop the tears that were falling after Seth had broken up with her. Amy was sure she’d never find love. Adam had been willing to do everything in his power to convince her otherwise.

Adam held the wedding invitation in his hand, ten years after he left home, struggling to come up with a good reason why he _wouldn’t_ be there. He hadn’t been back since he snuck away from Tommy with a check in his pocket and guilt sitting heavy on his heart. Going back home meant facing the truth about everything; why he left, what he did and the fact that Tommy was never far from his heart. Not thinking about it had been easier. He’d been pushing down the guilty feelings and memories of Tommy for so long that the uneasiness was just part of him. Having to bring that all up, to admit to Tommy, to his family, fuck, to everyone he knew…he just wasn’t ready for that. 

Adam tossed the invitation on the table to deal with later. He needed a good reason to ignore the ‘You promised, Ad’ that Amy had slipped inside before sending it his way. He knew his mom gave her the address. It’d been years since he talked to anyone other than his parents. Amy had tried to keep in touch and Adam knew his mom had given her his number when he changed it, but it was just too hard. Talking to Amy meant more than just catching up with a friend, it meant thinking about all the memories of spending time with her and Tommy. 

Two weeks later Adam was on the phone with his mom when she asked him the question he’d been avoiding. 

“You got Amy’s invitation, right, Adam?” 

“Yeah, I got it. It’s around here somewhere.”

“Somewhere? You need to send the reply to Amy. Adam. You _are_ coming home for this,” Leila said with a tone that Adam knew meant there was no debate. 

“I don’t know, mom. Work’s busy-“

“No, I’m not taking your excuses, Adam. It’s been too long. You talk to your boss, get your ass on a plane. I expect to see you here for her wedding. She’s your best friend. You need to be there for her.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Adam mumbled into the phone, knowing there was no point in arguing.

“I can’t wait to see you, baby. It’s been too long since I’ve been out to visit. You know, bring that boyfriend of yours if you want. You can both stay here.”

“Not my boyfriend, mom. Just my roommate. We’ve gone over this. And yeah, it’ll be good to see you.”

Adam said his goodbyes, hung up the phone and dropped his head into his hands. He was fucked. He was sure Tommy was going to be there. Even if he wasn’t at the wedding, there was no way he could go home and not see him somewhere. His hometown wasn’t that big.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

Turning the rental car down Main Street, the memories came flooding back. The stores may have changed names, but the feel of driving down the street was just like it had been when he lived here so long ago. It was home, even if Adam had been running from it for a decade. His heart clenched when he drove past his old apartment building. His eyes drifted toward the window of their shared bedroom, and Adam couldn’t help but remember everything he left behind.

By the time the car had come to a stop in front of his parent’s house, Leila was standing in the doorway waiting for him with a smile on her face. Adam took a deep breath before putting on his best face. He knew the moment he stepped out of the car everything would be a whirlwind of memories and wedding talk. 

“Jeeze, mom, you tracking my car or something?” Adam asked as he walked to get his bags from the trunk. 

“What? I can’t be excited that my baby’s finally home again?” 

Adam hugged his mom before grabbing his bags and following her into the house. Other than a new coat of paint on the walls, it looked as had when he was a kid. He laughed when he saw the clay pot he made in elementary school still tucked away in the back corner of the china cabinet. Some things about home would never change. 

The rest of the afternoon Adam spent with his mom. He caught up on all the town gossip, the details about the wedding, and the latest news about his brother. When he helped her cook dinner, he felt out of place. He thought he’d been an adult when he left, but standing in the kitchen cutting up the peppers as Leila talked, Adam realized how young he’d really been when he moved away. 

“So, you gonna go see Tommy?” Leila asked after dinner as they cleaned the kitchen. 

“Really mom?” 

“I know you weren’t really happy when you left. I don’t know what happened between the two of you. Goodness knows I tried to get it out of you. But you were both miserable. I just thought…you were such good friends. I don’t want things to be awkward for you at the wedding, baby.”

“I’ll make it work, okay? I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna want to see me. It’s been ten years, mom. Whatever you’re thinking, just don’t, please?”

“Who says I’m thinking anything?”

“I know that look. Will you please just let me handle things between him and me? The wedding will be fine. It’s not like we’re gonna be the only two people there. We’re adults and capable of being civil, especially for Amy’s sake.”

“I just worry about you. I get to do that, you know, being mom and all. All right, enough serious stuff. What movie are we watching tonight?”  
Adam was happy when his mom dropped it. He didn’t want to get into detail about Tommy with his mom. He was more than happy to curl up on the couch and watch a movie, forgetting for a few hours where he was and who he might see in a few days. 

~*~

Adam woke up confused for a moment as to where he was. The smells were familiar, but his sleep-fogged brain knew it wasn’t his apartment. He cracked his eyes and let out a groan as he stretched on the almost too small bed, remembering quickly that he was back at his mom's house. Not quite ready to get up, Adam snuggled back into the blankets and glanced around his room. It looked just like it had the last time he was here. The desk sat in the corner and the boxes he’d left here were still stashed in the closet. He thought it was odd his mom left his room the same, but he knew she had more than enough space in this house by herself. 

The knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked at the clock and realized he’d slept later than he meant to. The time difference was already messing with his body. He’d known it was going to be bad, which was why he’d taken almost two weeks off. Work was more than willing to give him the time off, even if he wasn’t going to admit that to his mom. In a way, he was glad for the vacation. He just wished it didn’t come with so much anxiety. 

“Yeah, I’m awake,” Adam mumbled as he heard the door open. 

“Morning! We’re going to brunch, so shower and dress. We’re leaving in about half an hour,” Leila replied, all smiles. 

Close to forty-five minutes later, Adam was sitting in his mom’s car as she made her way through town. He didn’t have to ask; he already knew where she was going. There was only one place for brunch and that was Bricktop. As a kid, Adam and his family had spent just about every Sunday morning here. He’d spent a lot of time in this place when he was in high school, between working bussing tables and hanging out with his friends. He knew that Lenny and Gloria still owned it and would probably make a fuss. Adam just hoped that he wasn’t going to run into anyone he wasn’t ready to face. 

Bricktop was quiet, even for a Tuesday morning before the lunch rush. Adam was leading Leila to his favorite table in the back when he heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. Gloria’s voice floated into the dining area just as loud as it had always been. He grabbed the menu and laughed when he noticed that nothing had changed. He wondered if these were the same menu’s he’d helped Amy put together in high school, or if they’d been replaced since then. 

He sat his menu down and looked up to see Gloria coming out of the kitchen. Adam knew he’d changed a lot since he moved to California, but seeing the smile that spread across her face when their eyes met, he knew she recognized him. 

“Adam Lambert! Finally, you returned! Did you forget all about us once you got to California to live your dreams?” 

Adam stood up as she weaved through the tables. He let her pull him into a hug as she babbled about how he looked so grown up. Adam told her what he was doing out in California, how his dreams of acting hadn’t come true, but that he at least had a job he liked. 

“So, have you seen him since you got back?” Gloria asked, and Adam remembered why he hated this small town so much growing up.  
“You’re as bad as mom, Gloria,” Adam replied, and hoped that would be the end of it. 

Gloria mumbled something about stubborn boys before she took their order and headed back to the kitchen. Adam looked around the diner at the things he remembered hanging up when Gloria had first opened the restaurant, the letters painted on the window that Amy had done and the place that was as much home as his mom’s house. He’d forgotten how much he loved this place and how much work he’d put into it to help Gloria and Lenny. Adam and his friends loved this place. He was sure that love was never going to change, even if he didn’t live here anymore. 

Brunch was taking a lot longer than Adam expected, but from the look on his mom’s face, she wasn’t surprised. Between chatting with Gloria, and later Lenny, and running into some casual friends while there, it was almost two hours later, and they were still at the table. When the front door opened, Adam looked up, shocked to see a small, blonde man in a suit walking into the dinner. He didn’t even have to ask, he just _knew_.

“Tommy…” Adam whispered as panic filled his body. 

Sometimes Adam hated how open he’d been about his relationship with Tommy prior to breaking up with him and leaving. Leila never quit believing that something about the whole situation wasn’t right and that Tommy and Adam belonged together. He knew his mom didn’t set him up, but she was still pushing him to go talk to Tommy. 

“I just can’t, mom, okay. There’s shit you don’t know and…he hates me. I’m sure,” Adam said quietly, so only she could hear. 

“Adam?” Tommy’s voice was unsure as he stood at their table looking between Leila and Adam.

“Uh, hi, Tommy,” Adam replied, turning to look at his ex-boyfriend. 

Tommy pulled his fist back and swung it right into Adam’s jaw.

“I’ve been waiting ten years for that,” Tommy said as he turned and walked away. 

Leila jumped up, coming to Adam’s side, but he just pushed her away. He stood up, looking at his mom’s confused face and smiled the best he could. 

“Yeah, um, I kinda deserved that,” Adam said before running after Tommy. 

Adam wove his way through the diner calling Tommy’s name. He finally caught up with him outside when Tommy had to stop and wait at the crosswalk. 

“Did you come in there just to do that?” Adam asked as he reached down for Tommy’s wrist to stop him from running away. 

“I came to eat. I lost my appetite when I came in and saw _you_. Now let me go. I don’t have anything else to say to you, Adam.”

“I’m sorry. I know it probably doesn’t make a difference now, but I am.”

Adam released Tommy’s wrist and looked down at the man. He looked so different than he had ten years ago, but so much more perfect. It made Adam’s heart hurt seeing his ex-boyfriend and what he let go. It wasn’t only his looks. It was the way that Tommy always got him, understood him like no else. As close as Adam was to Amy, she still didn’t get some things. Tommy had understood things before Adam even had to say them. 

“Meet me for a drink tonight? My treat, please?” Adam asked, not even sure where the sudden need to talk to Tommy came from. It was as if his brain to mouth filter suddenly stopped working. 

Tommy just raised an eyebrow as if he were was asking ‘are you serious?’

“Just one drink. Let me explain, please? It’s been ten years. I know that. I owe you that much.”

“Fine, just one drink. Meet me at The Pour House at seven.

Adam stopped himself from reaching out and pulling Tommy into a hug as much as his body suddenly craved it. He said his goodbyes and walked back to Bricktop, wondering what he was getting himself into tonight.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

Adam sat at the small table in the bar and swirled his drink around in the glass as he waited for Tommy. He was nervous and wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he suggested they meet for a drink. He’d come home with every intention of avoiding Tommy. Yet, when he was standing on the familiar streets looking at Tommy, something clicked in his brain. All he wanted was to drop to his knees and apologize for everything he’d done.

Looking up, Adam saw Tommy walk into the bar. He waved his hand to catch Tommy’s attention and smiled when the other man started making his way toward the table. Adam watched him as he walked, taking in how he’d changed in the last ten years. His hair was still blonde, but it was longer than Adam had ever seen it. Tommy had stopped trying to bulk up, but he looked gorgeous. He carried himself with a sense of confidence that Adam hadn’t seen from him before. 

“You came,” Adam said as Tommy reached the table. 

“I did. Though I’m still not sure why.”

The waitress showed up a few moments after Tommy sat down and took his drink order. Adam took a moment to study Tommy’s face. Even in the dim light, he could see his bright brown eyes that still showed every emotion that Tommy was feeling. After all these years, Adam could still read Tommy as well as when they were still together. He could see the anger mixed with confusion. When Tommy looked up and locked eyes with Adam, he could see hurt there as well. It was like a stab to his heart. He’d caused it all. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t even say it enough. I didn’t want to hurt you, I-“

“You didn’t want to hurt me? Seriously, Adam? That’s what you are going with? I came home from work expecting to find my boyfriend, the man I _loved_ in our apartment, starting dinner just like you said you would. But, what do I find? A fucking note! You slipped away during the fucking day, and left me a fucking note! Ran off to California, like what we had meant _nothing_ to you! We’d been together for six fucking years, Adam. That meant something to me. Fuck, it meant a lot to me. Even if you weren’t happy and wanted out, fuck, anything would’ve been better than coming home to find you’d moved out and left the fucking state!”

“I had to, Tommy. I had to leave to make you happy. It was the only way. I wasn’t going to sit here and watch the life be sucked out of you at that fucking job. You were supposed to leave, chase your dreams and be famous. You weren’t supposed to stay here in this little town, working at a job that you hated!”

“I was _supposed_ to spend the rest of my life with you, asshole.”

Adam knew he deserved that. Fuck, he felt as if he deserved everything that Tommy was throwing at him. He left, snuck out like a fucking coward. He knew it, but there wasn’t a way to tell Tommy why he was leaving, or how he got the money, without bringing Tommy’s grandma into it. 

“I never stopped, you know. Loving you. I pushed everything deep inside and didn’t let myself think about it much. But I’ve never stopped. I did this. I know I hurt you, and, fuck, I’m not even expecting you to forgive me. I was a coward to leave the way I did, but I was protecting you, looking out for your happiness. You have to believe me, even if it makes you hate me even more when I tell you why I left.”

Tommy didn’t respond, just watched as Adam fidgeted in his chair and swirled the amber liquid around in his glass again. Everything was easier before Adam came home. Even when thoughts of Tommy drifted into his mind, he’d assumed Tommy was happy, doing something that he loved, not spending hours wearing a suit and sitting behind a desk. That wasn’t his Tommy; that was the man Adam created when he ran away trying to protect Tommy. 

“Please, let me get this all out, okay? I’ve never told anyone. Not even mom knows why I left. I told her we broke up, which I guess we kind of did when I took off. But that’s not what happened. There wasn’t anyone else, and I wasn’t just chasing my dreams. I was trying to make sure you were happy. It started a week before I left. Your grandma came to my work, asked to take me to lunch. I was so happy to hear her say that. I thought finally, after all these years, she’s giving me, giving us, a chance. I was wrong. Fuck, I was so wrong.” Adam paused and took a breath before continuing. 

“She threatened to get me fired at first. I didn’t like it, but it was a job. I could’ve found another one. Then she threatened to cut off your inheritance and to take your family away. I couldn’t let that happen. You needed that money to quit that job that was killing you slowly, but more than that, you needed your family. I knew she’d do it too. The look on her face, it scared me. I’d never seen someone so hateful in my life. I’m sorry, I know she’s your grandmother, but she would’ve done anything to make ‘Tommy’s little problem’ disappear. After all that time we’d been together, and I was still your little problem, like I was a leaking pipe you couldn’t fix. She wrote me a check, fucking hush money, and I left. I knew I’d never be able to stay here. You were here, and the memory of everything we’d had was everywhere I looked.”

Adam stopped talking and just watched Tommy absorb everything he’d just let spill out of his mouth. He knew it was a lot for Tommy to take in, to hear what his family had done, but Adam knew he couldn’t hide anymore, couldn’t sugar coat it either. He’d laid it all out, the truth he’d been hiding from for almost ten years, and at that moment, it was up to Tommy to believe it or leave and never look back. 

It felt like hours sitting there waiting for Tommy to react, to move or say something, anything to show that he’d actually heard what Adam said. Adam watched as Tommy finally moved, swallowed his drink down, and stood to leave without saying a word. Adam wasn’t sure if the feeling he had watching Tommy leave was any worse than walking away from him had been ten years ago, but it still hurt just the same. 

~*~

“Tell me again why I came back here?” Adam whined to his mom over coffee the next morning.

“I should’ve stayed away, like I planned.”

“You came back because Amy asked, and I missed you. What you really need to think about is what happened with Tommy last night that has you so miserable,” Leila said without looking up from her book. 

“I messed up, mom. I messed up when I left, and I’m sure I just made it worse. I knew…just, I knew.” 

Adam grabbed his mug and walked out of the kitchen to go hide in his room. He knew coming back was a horrible idea and talking to Tommy was an even worse one, yet he’d still done both. It was as if his common sense filter was gone, and even though his brain was yelling at him ‘stupid idea, Adam’ he just couldn’t stop himself. He climbed back into bed after sitting the mug down and threw the covers over his head. He wasn’t ready to face the world. 

Just seeing his mom with the questioning look on her face was bad enough. Maybe if he went back to sleep he wouldn’t feel like his heart was breaking all over again. 

Hours later, Adam awoke to his mom pulling the covers off his face. She had her ‘don’t mess with me’ look on her face, and he knew there was no more hiding from her. She sat down on the edge of the bed, just as she had when he was avoiding high school. 

“You can’t spend the rest of the week hiding up here. I don’t know what happened last night, but you look like shit, and I’m sure it’s not from drinking. So, spill it.”

“Thanks, mom. Way to make me feel better,” Adam replied as he sat up to give his mom more room. “I fucked up. Last night, it just got worse. I don’t even know why I asked him to go out for drinks. What was I thinking?”

“That having the real thing was better than the replacements you’ve been dating for the last ten years?”

Adam knew his jaw dropped. He felt his mouth open as he stared at his mom and tried to figure out how she seemed to know more about how he’d been feeling than he ever let on. He knew he had a type; everyone had a type, but replacements? Adam had never noticed it until the images of the guys he’d been dating suddenly flashed through his head. 

“Fuck. How’d you know? I didn’t even know.”

“You don’t hide your emotions well, honey. You never have. So, you want to talk about it?” 

Once the words started, Adam couldn’t stop them. Everything that happened before he left, all the feelings he had bottled up for Tommy that he didn’t realize, even the hate and disappointment came flowing out. He watched his mom’s face change from shock, to disappointment, to sympathy, until she was pulling him into a hug as Adam cried on her shoulder. It felt weird talking about this, telling his mom his darkest secret. He didn’t need her to tell him how stupid he’d been, he already knew that. What he needed was a safe place to put his heart back together, and he was glad she was more than willing to give him that.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

Adam sat curled up in the living room watching a movie and thinking about how much of a turn this trip had taken. The plan was to spend time with his mom, go to the wedding and fly home. He was going to avoid Tommy and mostly, avoid talking about why he left. He hadn’t even managed to see Amy yet, and she was the one he was sure would get the truth out of him. A knock on the door pulled Adam out of his thoughts. He groaned as he stood to answer it, and was surprised to find Amy standing with Tommy on his front steps.

“You two are stupid. You were stupid in high school, you were stupid when you left, and I see things haven’t gotten much better,” Amy said as she pushed past Adam into the house, pulling Tommy with her. 

“Sure, come on in,” Adam deadpanned as he shut the door and followed them into the living room. 

“Sit,” Amy instructed Tommy before she walked over to Adam wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. She stepped back and looked up at him, and Adam knew he was in for it. 

“First off, you ever disappear for this long again and I will hunt you down myself, no matter what you mother tells me. I’m tempted to smack some sense into you, but from what Tommy says, he already took care of that part. So, you want to tell what the fuck were you thinking, Adam? Because the way Tommy tells it, after coming to my house in fucking tears, you did something so stupid that I can’t even begin to understand the reasoning.”

Adam stared at Amy. He was torn between wanting to cower in a corner for getting her this riled up and laughing, because even after all these years, nothing had changed. Amy had made both Tommy and Adam get their heads out of their asses and finally admit their feelings when they were in high school. She was the one there through all their petty fights and the one pushing them to do what their hearts felt was right after they graduated. He didn’t miss the irony that it was her that Tommy still turned to when Adam fucked up. 

“I want to hear it from you, Adam.” Amy finally spoke up, her voice returning to its normal tone. 

“I left because his grandma paid me to leave. I wanted him to be happy, and if I’d stayed, he wouldn’t have been. She was going to take away his inheritance, but even worse, his family. It was all for him; everything I ever did was for him.”

“You never asked,” Tommy spat out. “You never fuckin’ asked what made me really happy. You just assumed that I could be happy without you if I was doing something else. But you know what, Adam? It didn’t happen that way. I broke when you left. I couldn’t manage anything other than the mindless routine I already knew. You made me happy. I’d spend the rest of my life picking up dog shit, if it meant being with you.”

Adam moved across the room, dropping to his knees in front of Tommy. “I was stupid. Maybe I’m still stupid. I’ve relived what I did so many times, but I can’t take it back. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing for everything I put you through when I left. I meant what I said last night. I never did stop loving you. I’ve been running from my memories of you and searching for you at the same time. I never found what I was looking for, because you were here, right where I left you when I fucked everything up. I’m not asking for anything, Tommy. I just want you to know how sorry I am.”

Adam wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around Tommy, to kiss him softly, to do something to take away the hurt that Adam could still see in his eyes. Instead, he stood up and sat on the couch next to Tommy. Close enough to be there, but far enough away that he didn’t feel like he was pressuring Tommy. Fuck, Adam didn’t even know what to expect, let alone what he wanted. When he let himself think about Tommy, having the man in his life again was never an option. 

“It’s up to you, Tommy,” Adam said softly. “If you tell me to fuck off and never talk to you again I’ll do it. If you want more, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you for giving me a second chance to be in your life however you want.”

Sitting back Adam shut his eyes, unable to look at Tommy. He’d put it out there, and all he could do was wait. He’d begged for forgiveness, now it was up to Tommy. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, listening to the silence in the room, broken only by the sounds of Tommy and Amy breathing. Adam felt worn out, physically exhausted from facing everything that he’d let come to surface in the last twenty-four hours. The prickling tingle of tears came just before he felt the wet drops falling down his face. 

Adam opened his eyes when he felt the gentle touch of a finger on his cheek. He looked up through wet eyes to see Tommy, looking at him with the same wet trails on his cheeks. 

“I always hated it when you cried,” Tommy said softly as he wiped the tears away. “It made me feel like I needed to beat up the world for hurting your beautiful soul.”

Tommy leaned forward, wrapping his hands around Adam, falling into place just as he’d done so many times before. Adam sat frozen for a moment, the shock of being so close to Tommy again, before pressing a hand to Tommy’s back to pull him closer. Adam didn’t say anything, he needed to know what Tommy was feeling, what thoughts he had, but for the moment, he was going to enjoy having the man he’d always loved next to him. 

“I’m not saying it’s forgotten, that having you tell me what really happened makes it better. It doesn’t, not even close. I’m not sending you away again either. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, and I obviously have to some shit I have to work out with my family too, but I won’t lose you again. I’m not offering anything more than talking right now. What that leads to, well, we’ll just have to see.”

Adam pulled Tommy closer, not saying anything more. Tommy snuggled into his side, and Adam felt the tension in his body leave as the other man relaxed. He knew there was so much they had to talk about, so many things to work out between them, but this was a start. One he’d never expected. 

The clink of mugs got Adam’s attention, and he looked up to see Amy walking back into the room. He hadn’t realized that she left, but was grateful that she knew when to push them together and when to give them their space. He could see the surprised look on her face as she sat the mugs of tea down on the side table. Adam knew he still needed to talk to her, to apologize for everything he left behind for her to clean up. As if she could read his mind, she walked over to whisper in his ear. 

“Later. You talk with him now,” Amy said before standing back up. “You both need to talk. I’ll call later, okay?”

She kissed them both on the forehead before letting herself out the front door. Adam smiled as she left. Some things never changed. He already knew without looking that she’d made two mugs of tea just the way they both liked them, and if she could’ve found them, there would have been cookies as well. It had always been Amy’s peace offering after having to get pushy to get them to talk. 

“So…” Tommy said hesitantly, after they heard Amy’s car leave. 

“She’s never going to change, huh?” Adam asked, needing to talk about something other than his feelings for a few moments at least. 

“Nope, but that’s why we love her,” Tommy replied, pulling away just enough to smile up at Adam. 

“Tell me what you need to know, Tommy. I know your thinking about something.”

“How did you do it? Walk away and never look back? I was sure the first few months you’d change your mind and come back. But, fuck, I never expected it to take ten years.”

“I made up a fantasy world; I guess. I kept telling myself you were happier without me. You had your family, you were living your dreams, and you had a smile on your face all the time. The only way I could do it, was to convince myself you were happier without me. I never asked mom, ya know? She didn’t even know what had happened until this morning. I couldn’t bring myself to ask about you. I think she knew. When she told me what everyone was doing in town, she never mentioned you. It made it easier for me to believe that you were as happy as I wanted you to be.”

“Instead I was here, having _no_ idea why you left. Yeah, I had my family around. But, when I got my inheritance, I just stuck it in the bank. I was too depressed to even think about playing. You were my muse; I’ve not played in years. I had no inspiration,” Tommy said, looking up at Adam. “Basically, your fantasy world is full of shit, and the real world sucked.” 

Adam couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled out. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” Adam replied, not missing the look on Tommy’s face that said ‘not my doing.’

Adam and Tommy were still talking when Leila got home. Adam didn’t miss the knowing smile on her face, and he made a note to ask her later if Amy had given her a heads up to stay away longer. Adam watched as Tommy and Leila hugged in a way that was all too familiar.

Apparently, just because he ran away and forgot about Tommy, didn’t mean that the rest of his family did. He’d told his mom the break-up had been mutual. He had no clue they’d stayed in touch other than just running into each other in town. Adam was glad when his mom invited Tommy to stay for dinner, and when the three of them squeezed into the small kitchen cutting up potatoes and cooking, Adam felt more content than he’d been in a long time.

[ ](http://beta.photobucket.com/)

The thing about small town weddings was that _everyone_ was there. This meant that the entire town saw Adam walk in with Tommy by his side. It wasn’t a date. Neither one of them was stupid or desperate enough to call it that. From the looks they got as they walked in together, there was no convincing anyone that they were just friends. Adam ignored the whispers as he led Tommy down the aisle to the seats that Amy had left for them just behind her family.

The ceremony was beautiful. Amy looked stunning in her dress, and Adam couldn’t help but picture her as the little girl in pigtails that came over and demanded that they be friends because his red hair was awesome. It was weird sitting here with people he knew from high school as well as their parents, watching someone that used to be one of his closest friends get married. He looked around at the faces and realized that while he had been away, his friends had turned into parents, and now had kids of their own. 

Adam managed to avoid most of the questions as they left the church, but he knew there was no hiding once they got to the reception. He didn’t say much to Tommy as they drove to the reception hall, his mind replaying the images of the wedding that he’d been so tempted to avoid just a month ago. When Tommy pulled into the lot and parked the car, Adam reached out for Tommy’s hand to stop him from getting out. 

“They’re gonna ask when we get in there. Are you ready for that?”

“Are you? They all saw me, Adam. They might not know what happened, but they saw my reaction to you leaving. I know everyone’s shocked to see you, especially to see you with me, but does it really matter? It’s between us, it always has been. I can’t promise it’s going to be nice, but I at least hope they’ll be civil. So, tell me, are you ready to face them?”

“I’m not letting the opinions of this town scare me away. I already made one incredibly stupid choice. I’m not going to let it happen again. Let them ask, I’ll tell them we’re just friends. If they don’t want to believe it, well...you’re right. It’s just between us.”

Later that night, when Adam had finally stolen Amy away from her new husband for a dance, he felt lighter than he had all week. They danced together just as they had when Adam took her to prom because he had been too scared to ask Tommy. He smiled at the memory, and the way things had changed so much since they graduated, yet some things still felt so much the same. 

“Your boy wants to cut in,” Amy whispered with a smile on her face. 

“He’s not mine…yet,” Adam replied as he glanced over to where Tommy was watching them.

“Oh honey, just as clueless now as you were back then. He’s always been yours. Nothing was going to keep you two apart. He still looks at you the same way. You have a lot of work to do to fix the hole you left when you moved away. I have faith you two can do it. You just have to give it some time.”

“When it comes to Tommy, I’ll give him all the time he needs,” Adam said softly. “Thank you for the other day. We just-“

“You two just needed the same push you’ve always needed. Now, go ask your boy to dance. I think he’s getting jealous. We’ll have time to talk when you move back home.”

“Who said I was moving?”

“You didn’t have to; I saw it on your face when I left your mom’s. I always could read you like a book, Ad. Not even time can change that.”

Amy pulled away and led Adam back over to Tommy. With a kiss to both of their cheeks, she walked away after giving Adam a pointed look that said ‘ask him.’

“Come dance with me?” Adam asked, already reaching down to grab Tommy’s hand. 

As Adam led Tommy onto the dance floor, holding him close and moving slowly with the music, he knew Amy was right. The trip back to California wouldn’t be Adam going home. The trip would be to pack up to move back to the home he should’ve never left. It was funny how in just a short amount of time so many things had changed for him. Adam wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
